I was recently listening to a podcast from the Institute of Coaching, and one of the participants noted how the coaching field has changed in the past couple of decades. He said that not very long ago, if someone’s boss or workplace asked them to get a coach, it meant that they were likely about to get fired.
Coaching in that context was a last-ditch effort for someone to save their job. It had little to do with personal or professional growth, and maybe even felt like punishment rather than a resource for development.
Throughout my career, I’ve seen coaching used for exactly that kind of (softly) punitive purpose (and at times I have been the person encouraging or mandating the engagement!). In some cases, the employee getting coached was able to turn things around, but only with additional changes in how they were supervised and supported beyond the coaching engagement. When the employee simply got a coach with no other support or changes, then I often saw a bad situation get worse and ultimately the employee depart the organization.
Those experiences–and the awkwardness and tension that they engendered–along with having gotten trained, certified, and accredited as a coach–have made me do a 180 on that kind of coaching. In fact, I now have a general rule to not take clients who are being forced into coaching by their employer. In my experience, for coaching to work, the person being coached needs to be there willingly and without any fear of losing their job or livelihood.
So instead of coaching people who are being forced there, I focus on people who are looking to make a change or are experiencing a change–whether or not of their own choosing. And, time and again, many–most!–of my clients are looking for three things:
Structure–a regularly scheduled time and place to talk through challenges, discuss options, and practice decision-making.
A sounding board–a person who has had similar life and professional experiences and can hear and react to their ideas, plans, and goals.
A non-judgemental space–the opportunity to say whatever is on their minds, no matter what (of course there are limits here, and ethically and legally I need to flag if someone is a risk to themselves or others).
In my experience, when I can provide these three things, then the chances someone will learn, grow, and act greatly increase.
For me and the work I’m trying to do, that’s much more powerful than having to grind through a session with someone who is forced to be there. I’m sure there are examples where that kind of coaching can work for a struggling employee, but I know that’s not the kind of work I want to do.
I hope that in time that kind of coaching becomes even more rare to the point of being non-existent. This would, of course, require organizations to better manage and support their employees, and reduce the chance that someone finds themselves in such dire straits that they are being forced to get coaching. Perhaps a topic for a future post!
And besides the podcast, this post was prompted by someone who is considering becoming a coach who asked me what my clients actually want; the three things I list above were my spur of the moment responses–and I stick by them, even after some time and reflection! And I’m doing some work on my coaching “niche” and part of that involves ruling in and out the kinds of clients I’m seeking.)
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