Two weeks ago I launched my new photography website.
On one hand, it was easy to do. There are plenty of free or nearly free web-hosting services out there, and most make designing a site very easy. Plus, I had plenty of pictures to choose from, so I didn’t need to spend time making a bunch of new photos.
On the other hand, I had to conquer my perfectionist tendencies to get it done. And that’s not easy. So I found a coach who is also an artist to help me figure out how to move forward.
And I’m happy to say that Jo Cardin, the coach, proved to be a very supportive and persuasive partner, helping me reach my goal of launching a photography site by the end of this year.
On a practical level, she gave me homework between our sessions that helped me create the written content I needed for the site–I’m very good at completing assignments on time, especially if someone is holding me accountable. But more importantly, in our sessions she helped me identify, understand, and manage my feelings of perfectionism.
Getting my arms around those feelings was what ultimately helped me make progress toward my goal–and reach it.
The roots of my perfectionism are tied up in my sexual identity, and track back to what is sometimes known as “Best Little Boy in the World” syndrome, which I’ve written about previously. Basically, I want to get things right because at one time I believed that everything about me was wrong. I no longer believe that, but old emotional habits die hard (especially those that were established when we were coming of age).
For me and my photography, this habit shows up in thought patterns that make me doubt my talent at times, and make me question whether anyone would want to see my work on a website or even social media, let alone buy it. It’s not rational to think this way–people have already bought my work, and my social media following is steadily growing–but it’s often the first impulse I have when I think about expanding the footprint of my work. And a website, complete with an online store, cuts right to the core of that way of thinking.
And these thoughts are so real when they first pop into my head! This past Spring, I had a photo on exhibit at the members’ open at the Provincetown Art Association and Museum. I had it priced modestly at $250, and when I got an email telling me that it sold, my first reaction was that the buyer would probably return the piece once they looked more closely at it. I was certain that that would be the outcome, and felt a sense of panic and shame. But after a few minutes, I laughed at this reaction and truly just felt happy that I sold the piece.
Most of the time I believe in my talent. And by the time of that sale, I had sold many other pieces at Botanica, here in Provincetown (they’ve been selling my stuff since January 2022; and it sells well!). Plus, I really liked the piece at the museum. It’s one of my favorite photos that I’ve ever taken. Yet that first critical and self-limiting thought felt very real.
Jo, my coach, helped me challenge those kinds of thoughts–and especially how they contributed to my website creating inertia, which was also real.
Before working with her, I knew what my goals were. But she helped me identify my obstacles to reaching them, and held me accountable to what I committed to doing.
It was a textbook example of how and why coaching matters, and I’m so glad Jo and I found each other. The power of coaching is real.
Onward!
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